Importance of Family Traditions, Rituals & Ceremonies

Ceremonies, rituals and traditions are such crucial landmarks in a child’s life.

Following is an extract from Kathy Fray’s book “OH GROW UP…Toddlers to PreTeens Decoded” where she talks about her Parenting Magical Secret No.18.

It’s interesting to reflect that the word ‘spiritual’ combines the words ‘spirit’ and ‘ritual’ — the spirit needs ritual to make it complete. As Dale McGowan writes in Parenting Beyond Belief, ‘Imagine life without cycles or landmarks of any kind — just birth, followed by a long, gray line of 27,941 days, then death.’

Ceremonies mark special occasions of importance, such as birth (naming or baptism), marriage and death. These cultivate a family’s memories. Celebrations are parties that observe something, such as a special birthday, academic achievement and sporting awards. Societal rituals are the repetitious, familiar framework of events that occur annually, which can be holy days that have become holidays, such as Jewish Hanukkah, Christian Easter and Christmas, Chinese New Year, American Thanksgiving — even 23 December’s ‘Festivus for the rest of us’ as popularised by Seinfeld.

Initiating family rituals is about creating unique events in your household, such as Friday evening fish ’n’ chips; Saturday breakfast of Dad’s special pancakes; kids lighting candles at Sunday night dinners; family DVD movie nights with popcorn, duvets and beanbags; fondue dinners on the last day of school term; or an annual visit to the local big fun park on the last Sunday of the summer holidays — the list is endless. It really doesn’t matter what the rituals are, so long as they’re enjoyable mini-celebrations that are predictable, reliable and consistently adhered to.

Many indigenous cultures and religious faiths include a puberty coming-of-age or rite-of-passage ritual, such as Judaism’s bar mitzvah or Catholicism’s confirmation. Sadly, our secular society has seemingly wiped these out, so if you are a humanistic parent, a coming-of-age or rite-of-passage ritual is one I ask you to seriously consider reinstating. It would be a milestone you create as your own family’s unique ritual, specifically recognising the entry to early adulthood. As a suggestion, perhaps it could be held on the first ‘teen’ birthday.

We must teach our children the importance of rituals in the home, because they provide us with a sense of tradition, a sense of belonging, affirmation of milestones and a confirmation of maturation. Plus research shows if you grow up in a family with strong rituals, you’re more likely to be resilient as an adult.